the first person to ask about the outcome of our inaugural visit to The Doctor was none other than rin.
and as much as i wanted to wait for the very right moment to release the piece of news, i could not help but blurt it out.
yes, it is NOT easy to retain such information to oneself.
so she wanted to know EVERYTHING (as usual), and unable to describe how the blob on the screen looked like, she came up with a pretty apt description - it looks like a "peanut".
so the name stuck - although, i invariably use "clot of blood" as well.
the next people to find out were my parents. we'd gone over so that i could play pretend babysitter to little adam, and incidentally, my brother dropped by. i'd asked him who kak itha's gynae was in the morning, and when he saw me, he asked whether i'd seen her. and that was how the news was broken.
mum's first reaction was one of incredulity, "kau nak?". now while this may seem a strange question to pose to her fairly mature and married daughter, i suppose she meant it not in the "so are you gonna have an abortion/give it up for adoption?" way, but rather in a "since when are you trying? you mean it's not an accident and you actually WANT to take care of a squealing, screaming infant?"
my dad on the other hand hardly registered the news in his consciousness. he merely asked my mother to repeat what was happening, and barely paused before he continued a discourse with izad about his computer, as if i'd only told them it was raining outside.
i've always been the baby of the family, after all. this was all way too unbelievable for me, what more for them.
so we decided to not shock anymore people with such information till further notice. not even his dad, who would probably shock the entire kampung.
the following day, i had lunch with a former colleague, a new mother, and before i knew it, i had to tell her the news, all in the name of "research". when did she first find out, how did she find out, who did she go to, how far along was she, what symptoms did she experience, etc etc.
and later, i had to tell my supervisor and another colleague, but more for garnering sympathy votes should i begin to appear lacklustre in my work (a perfect excuse, if any).
it got me wondering, when is it appropriate to tell people you're pregnant? a lot of people say to wait till you're in your third month, just to make sure that the lil fella inside survives that fitful first trimester. but it's just not easy to not yak about it all over town, i tell ya.
the only thing keeping me from doing so is this fear and doubt that the doctor is wrong and something else is happening. i'm not sure at all if this is healthy thinking. i've always been one for negative thoughts, a defence mechanism i'd picked up through years of growing up an insecure teen.
so to whomever i have shared my confidences with before the obligatory 12 weeks are up, thank you for keeping it to yourself. and to some, thank you for assuring me that the peanut is real and will keep growing to a full-fledged jackfruit with limbs. (such imaginative friends i have.)
